Millions of Sphincter Muscles in NYC Lose Power

Hoo boy. We’re a little bit wound up about the Big Apple aren’t we? Granted, the power outage today was catastrophic by utility standards, but I think all of us experienced a tiny moment of “oh shit” over the possibility that this was terrorist related.

It’s moments like this that make you realize how those fuckers have us over a barrel. Life has never been the same.

Maybe we deserve it. People’s reactions were swift and stupid on internet discussion boards. The following are message subjects from the Yahoo! News boards:

  • the mossad did it
  • 90% of the looters will be black.
  • NYPD please shoot looters on sight
  • FUK NEW YORK
  • BUSH’S PENIS PUMP BRINGS DOWN GRID
  • Bush IS A GREAT LEADER. Period.
  • Canada’s prime minister will pay!
  • GOD IS NO AMERICAN…
  • What if Godzilla were loose in NYC??
  • Flash Mob?
  • Bush sticks pen1s in light socket…
  • Arnold warned us!!!!
  • I HAVE AN ERECTION IN MY PANTS!
  • BLAME IT ON IRAN AND N. KOREA!!!
  • OOOOOOH NOOOOOOoooooooooooo
  • This is all Jimmy Carter’s fault
  • Pope prays for cooler weather, and we
  • Bush HAS A small DICK. Period.
  • LET’S ROLL…
  • *BLACKS* CAUSED THE *BLACKOUT*
  • BIN LADEN HITS AMERICA AGAIN
  • John Ashcroft’s malfunctioning vibrator
  • HOW THE FUK DID THIS HAPPEN?
  • TERROR ALERT COLOR GOES TO BLACK
  • DEMS Fault! DEMS Fault!
  • GOOD TO SEE FAT AMERICANS WALKING
  • IS THIS AN EMP BOMB?
  • HILLARY’S VIBRATOR CAUSED BLACKOUT
  • This is no joke, MANY WILL DIE
  • NOT TERROR: GOV’T INCOMPETENCE!
  • DEMS = FAGS.. This is your fault!
  • IT WAS ONE OF THE MISSING WMD’S……..
  • BUSHWHACKED BY GWs FAILED ENERGY PLAN!!
  • God Hates Pat Robertson’s Prostate.
  • FAGS are to blame
  • F*CK ISLAM.
  • this is a sign from god
  • Official AFRICAN-AMERICAN Pride Night !
  • AL JAZEERA VIDEO PRAISES OUTAGE!
  • It’s the FAGS fault
  • The Gremlings did it!!!!!!
  • Bloomberg’s fault
  • GO SOLAR
  • the end has come
  • Sympathy Note for NEW YORKERS
  • SWEAT YOU STINKING LIBERALS
  • BRILLIANTLY DONE AL QAEDA…
  • “Possible” Terrorist Attack?
  • LIBERALS CRYING IN THE DARK
  • Al Quedea?
  • Terrorism Hits US Power Grid?
  • I BET ITS THAT COMPUTER WORM
  • Beginning of THE END of civilization
  • Conservatives DID NOT do it….
  • BILL GATES RESPONSIBLE
  • Gary Coleman’s Fault!
  • Better start the drilling in Alaska
  • Kill Muslims
  • It’s Al-Quaida!
  • Dust storm in space is culprit
  • Bush behind it just like 911
  • Power is OUT in BUSH’s HEAD
  • ALL THE LESBIANS MUST RESORT TO TONGUE
  • Enron at it again
  • Killer tomatoes ready to pummel earth!!
  • Clinton’s fault!
  • Are we under attack?
  • COONS GETTING READY TO SHOP
  • Con Ed power plant exploded….more
  • OH NO! THIS IS HOW SKYNET TOOK OVER!!!
  • It’s the Aliens first strike….
  • AL GORE invented power outages
  • Large round space ships spotted over DC
  • Cheney Responsible!
  • too coincident
  • CALM DOWN!!!!!!!!
  • are the jungle bunnies gonna go…..
  • Explosion in NY…..
  • nigggers looting in NYC!
  • Is there rioting yet?
  • WELCOME TO PLANET OF THE APES

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